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you know my name
14 September 2010 @ 08:34 pm
you know my name
28 October 2008 @ 05:50 am
so if you find yourself with nothing to do on halloween, my band is playing at egans in tuscaloosa, along with 2 other bands.

james spann and the suspenders (we even have a new song!)
the universe

10 pm

it's always free

hope to see you there. costume contest, beers, AND fun times?! how could you not come?
you know my name
27 July 2008 @ 04:54 am
tonight's show was incredible. there are no words to explain how amazing it was. it went off without a hitch, first off, but the energy from both us and the crowd together was enough to make me feel like i was really apart of something special. the compliments i got after the show were not only flattering, but extremely unexpected. thank you so much to everyone that supported us, came out, had never even heard of us, or was there in spirit. tonight was one of the greatest moments i've ever experienced. thanks to our dj (bin rockin), our backup dancers (the suspenderettes), john bigham (our santa claus), and thanks to kevin to being a hilarious band-mate.

i obviously can't sleep. i've been sick for so long, then going from that to the overpowering energy i experienced tonight, i feel like i've been drinking coffee for a week straight. well i guess i feel that way, i really hate coffee. anyway, so i decided to go driving about an hour ago. i don't have much time left here and i used to do it all the time to clear my head. so i drove around, listening to music, and sorting out my time here in tuscaloosa. i can't believe an era is about to come to an end. it does not feel like i have been here for 5 years. just in the past year, i finally feel like i found my place in this town, and now i have to leave. at least i found it, right? i've grown so much here. i've changed so much. i'm not who i used to be and i feel so good about that.

the song "little bit of you in everything" by the rentals came on and i just put it on repeat. that song makes me happier than any other. just listening to it inspired this blog. it made me really think about how much i appreciate what this town has done for me. i can't imagine my life without the people i've met here. my best friend is wayne, you all know that. i met him here and through him, he's been the main influence on my change. he's such an amazing person and he's opened my eyes to things about myself that weren't that great. he also pointed out things that were really good that i should be proud of. in other words, i'd never had a friend like him before and i can't thank whoever is responsible for the meaning of life enough for him. i will miss him so much it makes physically ill to think about it. so i won't right now.

i found a place where i can be myself. i can listen to good music, bands that don't play covers, and make friends with people who are similar to me. egans has been a catalyst for helping me overcome my shyness. long story short, i would never have gone to the bar by myself a year ago. after a certain breakup, i sucked it up and decided i needed to go out and make some friends. and i did and i never looked back. now i had been going to egans for years and was a regular for a while, but not like i am now. it's not about drinking to me. in fact, normally i would only have a couple beers or three and that is not enough to make me drunk. this is my cheers. my place to meet up with friends to talk, play darts, dance on those few dance party occasions, listen to good music, and just have a place to go and know you won't be judged (well, maybe, but whatevs). anyway, so i have that place in my life now that i can go and never feel awkward.

i have learned these things during my time in tuscaloosa:

1) i have only been truly in love once in my life and it was NOT in this town.
2) i am capable of making friends on my own, by myself, with a little friendliness and a smile.
3) i can be creatively apart of something that has made a mark.
4) you better get the fuck out of egans at 1:45.
5) friends really will be there for you when you need them, contrary to popular belief.
6) i can actually sing and am no longer afraid to.
7) i can be outgoing and friendly all the time, not just around people i know.
8) i have developed a habit of calling people, "sweetie."
9) it's probably not a good idea to form crushes on the really hot tall guys that come in egans.
10) there is some really amazing talent in this town. baak gwai being the first band that not only proved this to me, but who were some of the coolest and dearest friends i'd met.
11) you can never own too much vinyl.
12) don't be afraid to wear your vintage dresses out.
13) barbeque nachos should be a weekly thing.
14) city cafe mondays are dear to my heart.
15) i never thought an apartment could feel so much like home.
16) teaching art at a low income school is so rewarding.
17) bethany hates techno.
18) never argue with ashley hill. ever. srsly.
19) the park by the river will always feel like this little surprise i found the first week i was here.
20) the ceiling of the bama theater is stunning and mesmerizing.
21) i hate that i got here too late to fully appreciate the chukker.
22) i am happy that i experienced the awesomeness of michael's and bama karaoke.
23) i can be captain of an intramural bowling team and have to forfeit the finals.
24) i can meet some of the cutest, most interesting guys right in this very town. dating them is a different story. :)
25) i can meet some of the most beautiful and fashionable girls in the world and become fast friends with them.
26) i can only wish i had done all the million things i should have done while here, but hey, my time is up.
27) i can go to the movies with a little help from my friend the grinch and have the best time ever.
28) i can buy back my childhood and not feel bad about it.
29) i can meet all the horror greats and get an autograph from freddy krueger himself.
30) i can leave this town knowing that i've given it my all and i've gotten more than i could ever ask for from it.

i love you tuscaloosa, i really do. i'm going to miss you so so much.
you know my name
22 March 2008 @ 01:04 pm
so this is a list of the horror movies i have accumulated lately and have yet to watch. if you have seen any and want to give me a thumbs up or down, feel free.

the night brings charlie
the last slumber party
pledge night
blood tracks
the prey
the video dead
rest in pieces
to all a goodnight
the outing
student bodies
the majorettes
hard to die
rocktober blood
the horror show
hollywood scream queen hot tub party
you know my name
29 October 2007 @ 12:12 pm
i feel unbelievably lazy as of late. even moreso than i have been. i'm not sure what has gotten into me, but i just don't want to do anything. at all. i feel so unproductive and as if i'm wasting away. something has to give, that's for sure. i guess i'm in that mindset that nothing i do will make me happy, ultimately leaving me in the funk of just not doing anything at all. make sense? probably not.

the halloween season has been interesting so far. wednesday night i'll be retiring the jem costume. that will not be truly outrageous.

caseypaloozafest '07 is in a little less than 2 weeks! woo!
you know my name
09 October 2007 @ 03:18 pm
i've officially met all the 80's horror icons. kane hodder, gunner hanson, dick warlock, doug bradley, and finally, ROBERT ENGLUND! meeting the real freddy was an experience like no other. we paid a pretty penny for an autograph, but he chatted with wayne and i like we were old friends. he put wayne's glove on (which is very much like the original, not something you can just buy in the store). robert was so impressed with it that he acted like he was slicing people up with it and did the thing with the blades that he always does in the movies. he used it in both of our photographs. priceless, simply priceless.

oh and the autograph i had him do special for me is of course a line from the first movie (if you are a true fan, then you would already know that i'm sure). so yay! freddy is my new boyfriend. be jealous fellas.

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you know my name
03 October 2007 @ 09:36 pm
i'm not dead, i swear. or maybe i am dead and this is all a bad dream. yeah, i'm gonna go with that.

singing tomorrow night with a friend's band. yeaaaaaaaaah, we'll see how that goes. especially since i'm getting over being really sick for the past 2 weeks. my voice sounds like the shittiest of shit.

maybe i'm really boring because i have nothing to really update with. sorry. not that i think that anyone was glued to their computer screen waiting for interesting details from my oh-so-interesting and fabulous life.

oh, i am meeting robert englund this sunday. rock on.
you know my name
16 September 2007 @ 07:17 pm
it's official. he's an asshole.
you know my name
10 September 2007 @ 12:07 am
i feel overwhelmed across the board. i'm overwhelmed because i start teaching tomorrow. classes are piling up. my first certification test is this saturday. i still need to sign up to graduate in the spring. i need to get my student teaching transferred to tuscaloosa if possible. i need to transfer my art history credits. i need to clean my apartment. i need to workout. i need to call people i haven't talked to in ages. i need to create some type of art to reconnect myself to being an artist. i need to breathe. i have to figure out where i want to live next year. student loans interest is making my head hurt. i'm lonely in a way i can't put my finger on. i'm overwhelmed because my life feels like a complete mess and i'm not sure how to clean it up.

my emotions have turned to anger and resentment toward him. either he isn't into confrontation or is never planning on telling me the truth. all i ever asked was for honesty and all i've gotten is silence. i guess i was just the girl he dated to get over someone else, out of boredom, or to make himself feel better about himself because he found someone that cared about him so much that he didn't have to try at all. the fact that he is already seeing someone else keeps me up at night. going over all the details in my head about "what is wrong with me." thing is, i know nothing is wrong with me. how can i not take this personally though, you know? everything he told me about why we broke up, about wanting to build a "positive" friendship that would just make his life sooooo much better, about "i'm not ready for a relationship," is all bullshit i guess. does that make everything that happened before the breakup bullshit too? like telling me he loved me? i guess that qualifies. i don't care anymore about writing it in a blog. he doesn't read what i write. it's not like anyone is affected by this other than myself, so give me the fucking freedom to say what i want, cause it's pretty fucking obvious that it's not affecting him.

relationships and responsibilites are the bane of my existence.
you know my name
31 August 2007 @ 12:27 am
previous post is now friends only.

i so eloquently told him how i feel/felt/probably will feel.

i felt the blank stare burning into my soul.

this. this is what keeps me up at night.